


There'll Be Days Like This

by Idol_pastimes



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idol_pastimes/pseuds/Idol_pastimes
Summary: An unexpected phone call and his daughter's teary voice has Ben on the warpath.It's not until later that he realises he'd taken a wrong turn along the way.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 21
Kudos: 102





	There'll Be Days Like This

**Author's Note:**

> Having watched the clips from this past week enough times to burn a hole in the internet, I wanted to explore a little of some of the issues that could arise in everyday life for the boys and their respective families. So, I made a list of random scenarios, and the words from the classic 'enders ep when 'You're not my mother!' was screamed across the square kept creeping back into my head. 
> 
> This started off as a Lexi and Callum fic and then evolved into... well, whatever this is.
> 
> No idea how it got to this point or if it even hangs together as a workable piece, but if I post it, then maybe I can move on to something else! :D Enjoy?

___________________________________________________________

‘You what?’ 

The tinny voice turned from vaguely disproving to defensive in a snap. Ben moved further away from the door of the Arches, waving a hand at the noise behind him as though he could push it out of his way, leaving him to focus in on the phone at his ear instead.

‘We’re simply checking, sir, if you know the whereabouts of your daughter at this time?’

Ben’s chest constricted and he spun round instinctively, slamming the doors back and grabbing his car keys from the bench before storming away from the garage, leaving Dotty behind him, still half contorted under the car bonnet, eyebrows raised.

‘What the hell do you mean, her whereabouts? She was at the park over on City Road. Why? What’s happened? Is she hurt? Where’s Callum?’

He’d reached the car lot by this point and was jabbing at the key fob in his hand, increasingly frustrated at the slow reaction time of the locking mechanism before realising he’d been pressing _unlock_ the whole time. Smacking a palm on the roof of the car, Ben swung himself into the driver’s seat, ignoring the puzzled looks and raised arms of Jay as he emerged from the portacabin, eyes wide and mouth ready to question. Ben jammed his phone between his ear and shoulder as he started the car up and pulled away, flipping the hands-free on as soon as he hit the street.

‘No, no sir – nothing like that. We’re still in the park, yes; and there is a gentleman here claiming to be your daughter’s guardian at this point. We just need you to confirm-’

Ben felt like throwing up. His face was burning and his breath was coming faster and faster; he pulled over before he could press down any further on the accelerator and bent double, resting his forehead on the steering wheel, trying to process this sudden information dump. Fury was coursing through him and he knew, he just _knew_ what this was about.

‘He ain’t _claiming_ anything, you hear me? Lexi’s at the park with Callum – _my boyfriend, you got that?_ – and I’ve got no idea why you think it’d be a good idea to phone me up and scare me half to death thinking she’s been kidnapped or run over, or, or- I don’t know, but-’

‘Sir? Sir, I need you to calm down for me and just listen for a moment-’

Ben could hear Lexi in the background of the call now, and, if he strained hard enough, just make out the deeper, softer tones of Callum trying to calm her down.

‘Where are you? Still at the park? I’m on my way, you got that? I’ll be five minutes. Five minutes.’

Ben stabbed at the phone and hung up.

He stared at the screen, at a picture of he and Lexi grinning out from behind the icons and gripped the steering wheel even harder, gritting his teeth. He dragged in a deep breath, then forced himself to take another, knowing even through the haze of red that Callum would kill him if he ended up driving into a tree while blinded by rage.

_God, Callum. He’d be devastated, just mortified by this-_

Ben pressed the button on his phone as it faded to black and the lock screen blazed to life: the close-up pic of a smiling Callum and his own, stupid face jutting into the screen from one side, making a cute photo silly. _Why do I always do that? Always got to cheapen the moment, spoil it. Even a stupid photo-_

He felt his face crumple, looking at Callum’s happy, gentle eyes. 

_He’ll be so upset._

_He’ll blame himself._

The thought sat heavy in Ben’s gut and he reached for the gear stick with a colder, more meticulous anger churning in him now. He pushed the car into first and pulled back onto the road. In precisely four minutes and thirty-two seconds, he was parking in the side street around from the playground and made sure to pull his jacket closed, fastening the buttons and smoothing a palm down his chest before making his way to the gates where he knew the swings were. Where they’d been dozens of times before, with Lola and Jay and Billy. Where they’d _all been_.

He heard Lexi before he saw her, wailing at a truly obnoxious volume. Still, Ben carried on, unflinching. His nostrils flared as he caught sight of the two police officers by the seating area and the cluster of mothers on the other side of the see-saw, huddled together and staring – _judging,_ Ben fumed – from behind folded arms, talking behind their hands. 

Lexi was twisting and turning away from the female officer on the far side of the slide, shouting and crying intermittently as she kept trying to make her way over to Callum.

_God, Callum_.

Ben’s stomach plummeted at the sight of his boyfriend, arm outstretched towards Lexi, clearly past the point of trying to speak to the male officer who must have been the one to call Ben earlier. The one blocking Callum from moving towards Lexi but was too short to stop him from speaking to her, even now trying his best to stop communication between the two. It was doing little to stop Callum, however. 

‘You’re alright, Lex, it’s alright sweetheart. Your dad’s comin’ now, he’ll be here before you know it, darlin’. Just calm down, okay? Just take some deep breaths, you can stop crying now, your Dad’s-’

‘Daddy!’

The ear-splitting scream and sudden scramble had even the mothers on the other side of the playground jerking in response and Ben was hit with a pink ball of tears and apology before he could draw in another breath. _Probably just as well,_ he thought, as his fists had been balling up and his mind must have gone blank for the half second before Lexi impacted with his chest.

‘I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m sorry; I was mean to Callum then the police came and tried to take me away and I said I was lying, I told them but they didn’t listen, they weren’t listening to me anymore-’

Ben’s head was spinning with all of the words his little girl was throwing at him and he knew there was a hint of an explanation in there somewhere, if he would take the time to figure it all out, calmly and rationally.

But.

His baby was crying. He’d dropped everything to rush here in the middle of a day where he’d barely stopped for breath. He could still hear the twittering of the mindless, senseless _harpies_ across the playground. His blood was aflame with panic and fear and rage and-

He looked up and met Callum’s eyes.

They didn’t need words. They never had. Ben had known before he’d arrived, as soon as he’d answered the call. He knew what this would do to his boyfriend. 

_Callum was heartbroken_.

His face was blotchy and tight with panic, his hands flexing open, closed, open again with the need to do _something_ to fix this. His throat was shifting, swallowing over and over as he craned his neck trying to catch sight of Lexi’s face which was now buried in Ben’s shoulder.

And _still_ , that _idiot_ police officer hadn’t moved out of his way.

If he’d been asked later on, Ben couldn’t have pinpointed the exact moment when he snapped. It had been a fairly steady build, he’d have said. Scary phone call, pressurised drive over, highly strung Lexi; it all added up to an unpleasant situation. Understandably, he’d have claimed. But whether it was coincidental or not, it seemed that the instant the police officer reached out a hand to stop Callum from moving forward, the _second_ his fingertip pressed against Callum’s chest, the very _moment_ that the idiotic, pedantic, five-foot-nothing _jobsworth_ dared to keep Callum away from him, Ben appeared to have lost his mind.

He couldn’t recall what he’d said, when his mum had asked, afterwards. He had no clue why Callum kept looking over and smiling at him as they’d sat with a can of lager each, hours later, waiting for a takeaway to arrive. He would not even have been able to plead his case in court had the issue gone any further, if the female officer had not managed, ever so deftly, to move her colleague out from between the members of Ben’s family. It was a blank. He remembered not a word of it. Not a word.

Ben did know that his throat was sore, though, afterwards. And that two of the mothers opposite had covered their children’s ears before shuffling them away via the far gate.

He did, however, remember the apology that was given by the lady officer as her colleague stood behind her, thumbs hooked in his stab vest and looking away into the distance, jaw clenched.

He would also recall Callum’s soft acknowledgement and nods, then his muted thank you as the pair of officers turned away to disperse the remaining gaggle of mothers.

He would have vivid recollections of the wetness pressed against the side of his face as Lexi remained glued to him all the way back to the car.

And he’d always, _always_ remember the tentative brush of Callum’s hand against his, as though unsure if it was alright to reach out, to make that connection again.

Ben had sworn to himself there and then to make sure Callum could never forget that he had every right to hold his hand, to wrap an arm around him and his daughter, to take Lexi from Ben’s arms and hug her tight and shush her, to rock her in the back seat of their car and carry her back to their flat, back to their _home_ , whenever he wanted to. Whenever he needed to do any of those things, his boyfriend had the _right_ to do them. Without looking guilty, or sheepish, or apologetic. Or heartbreakingly _sad_. 

By the time he’d swung the car back into its place at the front of the car lot, Jay was waiting for them. 

‘Dotty said you’d run off – what you got mixed up in this time?’

The smirk dropped off Jay’s face as he watched Callum straighten up from the back of the car, hefting Lexi into his arms and walking off in the direction of the Mitchell house without saying a word. Ben shook his head and slammed the door with more force than was truly necessary, but just enough to rid himself of some of the pent-up aggression that he was desperate to exorcise. 

‘What’s going on, Ben? ‘As summat happened to Lex?’ The soft touch to Ben’s shoulder was the wrong move and he’d jerked away from his brother’s touch before he could think.

Ben blew air through his teeth in an animalistic response, mashing his face with both palms before slapping them against the roof of the car. 

‘I’ll tell you what’s wrong, shall I? The fact that my boyfriend can’t take my little girl to the park without some pathetic, bored, _overinvested, brainless halfwits_ accusing him of being some kind of, of-’

Jay’s eyes squinted in disbelief as he tried to work out from the snarled words exactly what had happened. ‘Ben, calm down a bit and just-’

‘Yeah, yeah, I should calm down. I absolutely should just _calm down, shouldn’t I?_ Except, no, no; I don’t think I will. Not just yet.’ The dangerous half-smile pulling across Ben’s face had Jay frowning in response, and he took a step back, waiting for the explosion. ‘Because I’ll tell you my day, shall I? I’ll tell you all about the last hour of my day. I get a phone call from the _police_ , Jay, asking if I know where my daughter is. No explanation, no nothing; just the question. _Do you know the whereabouts of your daughter?_ I mean, what do you think that’s like, ay? You honestly think I’m gonna react well to that? And they said I was _overreacting_? That I needed to _calm down_? Are they _serious_?And not just that, Jay, oh, no! Not only that, but that there’s some man _claiming_ to be Lexi’s guardian, _claiming_ to know her and that I need – _I need! –_ to corroborate his story?’ Ben was leaning forward against the car by now, pushing it so that it rocked on its suspension, phone and keys still clenched in white-knuckled hands.

Jay was standing with hands on his hips but knew better than to say anything until Ben had let it all out. From the look on his face, he was well aware that there wasn’t much he could say to fix this, anyway.

‘Callum had to stand there, _in the middle of the park_ , in front of a _group of parents_ and watch while Lexi cried, and shouted, and they wouldn’t let him do a thing about it. Not move closer, not hold her hand, _nothing_.’ Ben’s finger shot out and pointed at Jay’s face, cutting him off before he could speak. ‘And I know fine well what you’re gonna say, Jay. That they were just doing their job, that they had to make sure; you know what? Fine. Whatever. But not like that. Not so everyone could just stand and watch. Not when my baby girl is sobbing for him. _Not like that_.’ 

Jay shook his head and took a step forward, leaning against the car and staring across the street, gaze following the path Callum had taken. The unspoken assumption of exactly why Callum had been singled out hung between them, and Jay shook his head.

He let a minute pass, then two, listening to Ben’s heavy breathing and making sure that it had slowed slightly before speaking again.

‘Wasn’t gonna say a word, bruv. I’ll let Lola know, shall I? Before she comes home?’

Ben pushed back from where he’d let his head fall to hang between his arms and rolled it on his neck, listening to it crack before settling his eyes on Jay’s ever-calm expression. He huffed out a breath and nodded, grateful.

‘I’m going over to clean up this mess. Just- just tell her not to panic, alright? She’s home, we’re all home and we’ll sort it all out.’ Ben accepted Jay’s touch with more grace this time, pulling him in for a quick hug before pushing his keys into his hands. ‘Oh yeah; couldn’t make sure the Arches is locked up for the night, could ya? If I have to see Dotty’s smarmy face again today I don’t think she’d survive it.’

Jay snorted and rolled his eyes, taking the keys.

‘Yeah, yeah. Or _you_ wouldn’t. Go on then. I’ll sort out all your jobs. You go make sure I’ll be able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight without tears and tantrums, alright? Had enough of them from _you_ over the years.’

Ben walked backwards for a few paces, aiming a mock-glare at his brother. ‘Yeah, well, she’s learned from the best, ay?’ The hint of a smile tugged at Ben’s lips but then fell away again just as quickly. ‘Wish me luck, bruv.’

Jay gave him a brief thumbs up and watched as Ben’s shoulders hunched towards his ears as he crossed the square. Shaking his head, he reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and scrolled down to Lola’s name in his contacts. His thumb hovered over the little envelope icon but he thought better of it and, after a breath and a glance skyward, pressed the call button instead, resigning himself to his fate.

____________________________________________________________________

The house was quiet as Ben pushed open the back door. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but such overwhelming silence was not it. It set his heart going faster, and he pulled his coat off quickly, slinging it over the back of one of the chairs before calling out.

‘Callum? Lexi, you in here?’

Moving through to the living room he glanced around before heading for the stairs, taking them two at a time. 

‘We’re in here, Ben.’

Callum’s voice was scratchy but strong, and Ben tracked it down to Lexi’s tiny back room. Poking his head round the door, he could already see one of Callum’s legs twisted up against the small chest of drawers that housed all of Lexi’s plastic ponies and pop star figurines. Carefully, so as not to disturb the peace his boyfriend had clearly worked hard to craft in his absence, Ben edged his way in and slid down to perch on the edge of a Little Mix beanbag. Not the most dignified of positions, Ben was aware, but probably more respectable than he’d seemed about half an hour ago, so he’d take it.

Pulling the pink curtains across the window to block out the blazing light cast their little gathering in a soft glow, and gave Ben the chance to finally catch Callum’s eye. He looked worn out. A little shell-shocked, Ben would wager, and at the moment, surrounding Lexi like an octopus, huge hands and lanky limbs holding her huddled form encased in his strong hold. Ben could see the appeal himself, and made a mental note to wrap Callum up similarly when the opportunity arose.

The tired smile he shot Ben rippled warmth through him, and he reached out, squeezing Callum’s bicep before sitting back, leaning against the wall and sighing.

‘How’re you doing, Princess? You feeling better yet?’ The lack of answer was followed by a further contraction into a hedgehog-like ball, pushing into Callum’s chest and Ben watched as Callum pressed a soft kiss to the top of the almost hidden blonde head.

It made Ben pause and hold his breath for just a moment.

He couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten – again – just how soft and gentle Callum was. It didn’t matter how many times he’d seen it, or experienced it for himself, the fact that such a tall, strong, ex-military bloke could give so much of himself to people, just to make them feel safe or comforted, blew him away every time. _Every single time._

That this man had chosen _him_ to spend his days with, to come home to, to sit on the floor and rock his daughter while she cried? Ben didn’t think he’d ever get over that. God, he hoped he’d never have to.

Smiling into Callum’s worried face, Ben reached out a toe and prodded Lexi in the side, holding a finger to his lips for Callum’s benefit. ‘And how about you, Lexi? Princess Callum here is too upset to speak, so I suppose I’ll have to rely on you to sort us out, hey?’ 

Prodding again, he leaned forward to tickle Lexi’s ribs, repeating the question.

‘Can you help him out? Hey? Lex? Princess Callum’s ever-so sad, Lexi! You’ll just have to-’

The sudden emergence of a red-face surrounded by damp blonde wisps of hair should have been hilarious to him, but Ben couldn’t help but push his bottom lip out in a mirror image of his little girl.

‘There she is. My real Princess-’

‘I’m not a princess at all, Daddy! I’m horrible and it’s all my fault the police came and made Callum sad!’

Ben’s eyes widened as he looked into his daughter’s furious face, trying to make sense of the words as Lexi reached round and dragged Callum’s arm closer to her chest, tucking his hand under her chin as though trapping him in place.

Callum’s face was a picture, and in any other circumstance, Ben would have been the first one to grab the chance to make fun of him for it. Eyes searching and clearly desperate for some kind of guidance, Ben managed to give him an encouraging smile and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and running a palm across his boyfriend’s forearm until he reached his hand, then tapping Lexi under the chin with the back of his fingers.

‘Hey. What’s this about, sweetheart? I know this afternoon was scary, but Callum’s not goin’ anywhere. So how about we all go downstairs and-’

Tightening her grip, Lexi heaved a huge sigh and shook her head so forcefully that Callum had to push backwards to save himself from a solid knock to the jaw. 

‘You’re not listenin’. I said mean things to Callum and then the police _came for me_. It was all my fault. And now he’ll never take me to the park again, and will probably never be my friend again neither.’

At this final declaration, more tears escaped down her ever-reddening cheeks and Callum shifted, drawing her further round and facing her out towards Ben rather than letting her hide away. With his free hand, he wiped at her face with the end of his hoody sleeve and hushed her again, rocking almost without conscious thought.

‘Lexi, Lex, we’ve already been though this, darlin’. The police didn’t come because they thought you were mean, they came because they thought you didn’t know who I was, sweetheart. They were trying to look after you. Same as all those women by the swings.’ At this, Callum glanced up and the shadow of embarrassment in his eyes made that lingering flame of anger flicker again in Ben’s ribcage. ‘They was just looking out for you, Lex. And of course we’ll go to the park again. And I’ll always be your friend, darlin’. Always.’

Lexi’s head had fallen forward as Callum had wiped her eyes, but she suddenly whirled into motion, turning around, knees clearly jabbing in uncomfortable places, to push her palms against Callum’s chest as he tried to hide a wince.

‘You really mean it, Callum? You’re still my friend?’

Seemingly frozen in place by the five-inch death stare that he was confronted with, Callum nodded, solemnly.

‘Of course, Lex. I promise.’

As though a curse had been lifted in the powder-pink princess room, Lexi lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Callum’s neck and singing nonsense words to the tune of one of her pop songs; whether it was for Callum or in celebration of avoiding whatever dire things she’d been fathoming up in her often overactive imagination, Ben had no clue. But it made Callum smile all the way up to his eyes for the first time in hours, so it certainly was fine by him.

Still, there were things that needed to be discussed; Lexi clearly had something weighing her down and Ben wasn’t as willing as Callum to let this slide away with a smile and a nod.

Ben leaned forward once more and tapped his daughter on the back, clearing his throat as she quietened back down. 

‘Er, excuse me, miss.’

Lexi swivelled to the side, sort of facing her dad but with one hand still playing with Callum’s collar round at the back of his neck.

‘What’s this about saying mean things to Callum?’

The exhalation of air was very much expected at this point, and Ben raised his eyebrows as Callum moved to speak. ‘Ben, can’t we just-’

‘No, no we can’t, _just_ , can we Lexi? Because today was very serious and just because Callum is kind and he loves you, it doesn’t mean that we can say nasty things. So, what did you say to him in the park?’

Callum’s lips were pressed together and his eyes closed, so he likely didn’t see when Lexi looked up at him through damp eyelashes, but Ben did. Ben saw, and recognised the look of sadness on her face when she looked at Callum’s expression. And he felt a little bad, knowing that he’d caused her to feel it, but at the same time, he couldn’t let it slide. Not when the message was so important. And not when it was Callum who’d had to suffer for it. Who’d done nothing but love her since becoming part of Ben’s life. 

If there was one thing that Ben knew, beyond any doubt, it was the feeling of loving someone unconditionally and having them hurt you, intentionally or not. And he knew Lexi was only a child. But if it taught her a lesson now, then maybe, _maybe_ she could avoid some of the pitfalls that he’d fallen in to time and time again.

‘I said that he couldn’t tell me what to do.’

The tiny voice spoke over a quivering lip but was nevertheless accompanied by a direct gaze and Ben felt a swell of pride that he swallowed down, forcefully, trying his hardest to keep a stern look on his own face.

‘And?’

‘And that my daddy wouldn’t make me do the stuff that he wanted me to.’

Callum’s eyes snapped open at that and the look of utter revulsion that heaved across his face had his mouth twisting. It was startlingly obvious that this was news to him, and Ben could sense the gravity of the declaration taking on an even greater impact as it hung in the air, in the flowery stillness of the little girl’s bedroom, seeming cloying, heavy. Sickeningly out of place. 

Ben dropped his head forward and scrubbed a palm over his hair before dragging it down his face, holding it over his mouth for a moment, thinking of how to phrase his next words. After all, if this wasn’t the prime example of how words could be twisted and misinterpreted, he didn’t know what was.

‘Lexi, do you know how awful that must have made Callum feel? He’d taken you to the park for a full hour after school and you say things like that to him?’

Lexi nodded sadly, still fiddling with Callum’s collar but now reaching out, hanging off one of Ben’s fingers with her other hand.

‘And do you know how upset it makes him and me when you’re mean like that? When Callum is just doing a favour for mummy and daddy, because we’re at work?’

She sighed and pulled down on his hand, tugging at him to move closer. Ben stayed still, letting her pull but not moving forward.

‘I know, daddy. But I just wanted an ice cream, and Callum said I couldn’t have one until I’d had my dinner _and_ done my homework, and that’s not fair, daddy, you don’t make me-’

‘Oh no, young lady, don’t you even start that with me! Just because I’ve let you get away with that before doesn’t mean that you can mouth off to Callum about it. He’s not there for you to take advantage of, Lex. And if he says you’re going to do your homework, or that you’re not having ice cream, or you’re going to bed without _any dinner at all_ , then that’s what will be happening, do you understand me?’

Lexi’s face had crumpled as Ben’s words had continued, even though he’d done his level best not to shout, not to fly off the handle. Her fingers were pulling even harder and she had a constant grip on Callum’s collar, mashing it over and over in a steady rhythm. Finally moving closer, Ben wrapped her hand in his left then tapped her chin with his right, encouraging her to look up a him.

‘Lexi? Did you hear me?’

Even with teary eyes, the little girl nodded, and pulled her hand from her dad’s to drag her sleeve across her nose. 

‘Good. Then I think you’ve got something to say to Callum, don’t you?’

Lexi nodded again and turned back to Callum, still sitting astride his lap as she destroyed the neckline of his t-shirt. He was again confronted by a distance of about four to five inches and the wet, sniffling face of a little girl he’d come to adore, and he couldn’t help but smile encouragingly. _Smiling even as he looked desperate to cry_ , Ben acknowledged.

‘I’m really sorry, Callum. I was really mean and I was lying anyway, ‘cause Mum would make me do my homework too before dessert. And most times Daddy does. Just not all the time.’

As rambling as it had been, it was the sweetest apology he’d received in a long while and Callum was clearly moved by it, enfolding the slight form in his arms before releasing her once more.

‘Thank you, Lex. I’m sorry that today was so scary. You alright now?’

He pushed the blonde hair back out of her face as she swiped at her nose again and nodded. The banging of the door downstairs distracted her from any kind of response though, as Lola’s voice reverberated through the empty downstairs rooms.

‘Lexi Pearce! You get down these stairs right now, miss!’

The child’s eyes widened instantly and was up and off his lap in a heartbeat; Callum flinched away as her wild arms and legs narrowly avoided bruising him once again on her way off his lap and out of the door. Both Ben and Callum could hear the thumping of feet on carpet and the shrill words that cut through the house.

‘Why am I getting text messages from Sadie’s mum telling me about you in the park, ey? And what’s this about the police?’

The slamming of the kitchen door drowned out the following words and Ben watched as Callum winced once more, clearly feeling bad that Lexi was walking into yet another ear-bashing. His voice, when it came, was croaky and hesitant, but still looking to comfort and protect.

‘You think we should go and-’

‘No.’

Callum pulled his legs up and made to twist his way to his feet, being stuck in the corner of Lexi’s room for too long having caused his long limbs to seize up and lock in place.

‘Ben; she’s said she’s sorry-’

‘Then she can say it again, Callum. And this time, she can feel Lo’s wrath, because, babe, I’m not sure she really gets it. God, I’m not sure I did until about five minutes ago.’

Callum paused in his attempts to stretch and locked eyes with Ben before dropping to sit on Lexi’s brightly covered quilt cover and looking away.

‘What do you mean?’

Ben had reached his limit. It had been too emotional a day for him to sit at this distance anymore, and his hands were reaching out before he even knew where they were going to end up. As it turned out, that resulted in both of his palms bracketing Callum’s face as he made sure his boyfriend was looking him in the eye before speaking again.

‘You know, Callum Highway. You _know_. I thought that they’d stopped you because you’re my boyfriend, because of who we _are_. That’s what I thought.’ He stopped, took a breath, and pushed a piece of Callum’s fringe back into place. ‘And so did you.’ 

Ben could only watch as Callum’s eyes filled with tears, could only shift forward and press a soft kiss to his forehead as he tilted his face down, away from the world.

He waited a beat, then another, and took a leap he wouldn’t have, before. Back when he was just Ben Mitchell, with a capital B and a capital M and he had his name and rep to protect and uphold. But now, since Callum, since declaring his feelings and agreeing to _try_ not to be a prat, he knew that honesty was vital. It was one of the things that he adored most about Callum, so he figured his boyfriend would at least appreciate the effort.

‘God, I was furious by the time I reached you. I thought I knew already what the score was, what had happened. And I was losing it in the car on the way over. My only thought was: it’s because he’s _gay_. They’ve stopped him and labelled him and _humiliated him_ because he’s gay, and _it’s my fault he’s even there_.’

Ben was quick to laugh and shake his head at Callum’s immediate frown and his aborted attempt to argue.

‘I don’t mean it’s my fault you’re gay, Cal; although I will proudly take _some_ credit for that, babe.’ Ben winked as Callum rolled his eyes at that. ‘I meant I’d left you in that situation; in the park, with Lexi, just dumping her with you because I’d messed up and doubled booked the Arches and the meetings at the car lot this morning, so I knew I was gonna run late. And I knew she was already in a huff by the time Lo had dropped her off at school this morning ‘cause I’d promised to take her out tonight for dinner and then I had to text Lo and call it off. You were on to a loser from the start, babe, and I’m sorry.’

Callum had propped his elbows on his knees by this point and was slumped forward, his own hands covering Ben’s as he just listened, sniffing now and again.

‘You shouldn’t have had to be there at all. And that was on me. Then, I was so angry, I didn’t stop to think it could be something else. And when I saw your face, and how upset Lexi was, I was just ready to jump right to the wrong conclusion.’ Ben stroked his thumbs along Callum’s cheeks and smiled sadly as he closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.

He lowered his voice to a near-whisper before he carried on, shuffling forward so his face was mere inches from Callum’s own.

‘You’ve come so far, babe. So, so far in such a short time. And I’m so sorry that I left you out there by yourself to deal with all of that. I can’t even imagine how awful it felt to be trapped there, being watched by all those people but not being able to leave, to have to stay for Lexi. And I’m so grateful that you did, and that you managed all of that and still thanked them as you left, head held high, carrying Lex and proud of it.’ He pushed forward again as tears started to seep from behind Callum’s closed eyes, peppering his nose, cheeks and chin with tiny kisses as Callum dragged in ragged breaths in an attempt to calm himself down.

After a few minutes, Ben pulled back, leaving his left hand in place but using his right to wipe at Callum’s cheeks just as Callum had for Lexi just minutes before.

‘How much had you heard of what Lexi’d said before we got back here?’

Callum sniffed again, hard, shaking his head and smiling softly before raising his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Just the bit about me not being able to tell her what to do.’

Ben pressed his lips together and forced a smile back. ‘A classic, that one, hey?’

That pulled a laugh out of Callum, and he reached out and pulled Ben over to sit beside him on the bed, shuffling back so they were both propped up against the wall, feet hanging over the side and Callum’s almost to the floor. Enveloped by the arm over his shoulders, Ben rested his head against Callum and started to play with his fingers with one hand as the other rested gently on his boyfriend’s thigh.

If Callum didn’t want to face him while he sorted all of this out in his head, that was fine with Ben. He wasn’t exactly one for big declarations of feelings, either, so he was hardly one to call him out on this shift in position.

The words, when they came, were thoughtful and hesitant, almost as if Callum hadn’t quite pulled together all of the things he needed to say just yet. 

‘I was just standing, waiting for her to come down from the slide and these two officers came over. And I knew the women had been talking amongst themselves, but I don’t usually get involved in that, so I wasn’t paying attention. _To them, I mean, I_ was _watching Lexi, Ben_ -’

Ben pulled on the fingers in his hold and pressed his head back against the shoulder he’d been resting against, surprised by Callum’s sudden scrabble to justify himself. ‘Hey, hey; I know that. I’d never doubt it, babe.’

The pause was just long enough to worry Ben that Callum had shaken himself out of his reverie and wasn’t willing to go any further just yet, but suddenly his chest started to shake, gasps of air being pulled in and pushed out in a desperate fashion. Ben squirmed around, hands up, ready to grab, help, _fix_ whatever he could in a panic, only to find tears streaming down Callum’s face again as he laughed.

‘What on Earth- What are you doing, babe? Scared the life out of me, there!’

Callum shook his head, sagging to one side, leaning against Lexi’s pillows and trying his hardest to push out the words, _any_ words.

‘It don’t matter, Ben. It don’t matter at all. It’s fine, innit?’

Ben was rapidly becoming concerned that Callum was having some kind of breakdown, as he watched his face pull from abject misery to contorted laughter and back again within seconds.

‘What’s fine? Callum? What’re you-’

‘S’not ‘cause I’m gay, or you’re gay or whatever. It didn’t even matter. Not in the end. I thought it was- I was standing in that park, thinkin’ exactly what you said, that it was because of who we are, who I am, but- but you were right all along. It- it don’t matter.’

Ben sat back, resting on his own heels and waited for Callum to calm down, to explain further rather than trying to guess what was so funny all of a sudden. He rubbed a hand up and down Callum’s thigh as his chest continued to whoop, trying its hardest to settle back into a normal rhythm.

‘It don’t matter, Ben! They just figured I was an ordinary perv instead – just an everyday, run-of-the-mill creep!’

Ben sat back on his haunches, eyebrows raised. Maybe Callum was dealing with all this better than he’d thought; _if he was seeing the funny side already…_

As the seconds passed, however, and the pained laughter faded away, Ben could see the humiliation flare up once again. And although he appeared to have no more tears left to cry, Callum sat back up, face creased in misery and looked at Ben. 

‘I can’t ever go back to that park with Lexi, can I?’

Ben snorted and pulled Callum in for a kiss before wrapping his arms around him.

‘We can go to that park whenever you like, Mr Run-Of-The-Mill-Perv. We’ll show those ladies what they’re missing, ey?’

He could feel Callum’s hands locked at his lower back and took the opportunity to run his fingers up the back of Callum’s head to scratch at the short hairs there. Ben was always the recipient of such attention, likely because he was at least a head shorter, but he loved to take the chance when it was there, and knew Callum enjoyed the about-face, too. He looked down into bright blue eyes that were currently ringed with red and smiled at the look of embarrassed exasperation there.

‘God, hearing her say that. What they must’ve- They thought I’d taken Lexi, Ben. Thought I’d-’

‘Callum, I can’t imagine there’s a single one of those women that you could talk to for more than a minute who wouldn’t immediately know what a softy you are. And by the sounds of it, Lo already knows about it and will be playing merry Hell with whoever it was that bothered to get the coppers involved in the first place. You’ll be lucky if you make it out of there without being utterly smothered or being invited round for tea and buns four nights out of seven. Alright?’

Trying to make light of a situation had always been Ben’s get-out clause; avoiding heavy, charged incidents like this one always having been his preferred option. And it was true that it was often simply because he couldn’t bear to face his own feelings. But in this case, he was glad of his innate instinct to avoid sincere conversations if he could. 

Callum smiled softly at him as though he could read his mind, tightening his hold in recognition of Ben’s intent. Ben closed his eyes and pressed a final kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, lingering there for a beat longer than was necessary. 

‘Thank you for being so lovely with my horrible child.’

Callum laughed once more, soft and at ease, this time. ‘Your horrible child is easy to be lovely to, Ben.’

Ben snorted and shuffled backwards, pulling Callum to his feet and towards the doorway.

‘Now I know today’s had a terrible impact on your psyche. She’s broken you. That’s what’s happened there.’ Callum’s eyes regained their signature sparkle and Ben squeezed his fingers. ‘Still. I suppose we’d better check to see if Lola has sold her to a travelling circus or something just to save anymore hassle. ‘Cause let’s face it; today ain’t half been a clown-show.’

They made their way towards the staircase, still holding hands as they moved in sync, Ben just ahead.

‘Well, I will admit this afternoon didn’t go quite as I’d imagined it would when you phoned and asked me to pick her up from school.’

Ben paused on the bottom step and looked up, winking and smirking as if imparting some great wisdom.

‘Ah, that’ll happen when you add a kid to the mix. Especially a Mitchell kid.’

Callum snorted and moved past Ben, pulling him towards the ominously closed kitchen door. Before they’d reached it, however, a shrill voice piped up, causing both men to pause in their tracks.

‘Daddy? Callum! Jay said we could have ice cream if you help me with my homework!’

Ben tugged backwards at Callum’s hand and whispered, wide-eyed. ‘We could make a clean break, babe; straight out of the front door if we go now. Just say the word-’

Callum pulled him close and wrapped an arm around him, pressing their lips together in a smiling kiss.

‘Too late, Mitchell. You made ‘er, now you’ve gotta deal with ‘er. Too late to back out now.’

Ben moved closer, grabbing the tassels of Callum’s hoody and grinning up at him.

‘Aw, but I wanted to see if this Mr Run-Of-The-Mill-Perv is as wild as I’ve heard he is-’

Callum bit back a laugh and tilted his head to the side, giving a decisive nod.

‘Maybe later. Unless your daughter wears us both out, first. Go on, in!’

‘Yes, sir, Mr-Run-Of-The-’

‘Ben!’


End file.
